Drunk Again
by swirlheart
Summary: Sequel to One Wasted Day: Hitsugaya's drunk all over again, but this time, it's not Rangiku's fault. Well, maybe a little of it is her doing. And here's the best part: he's not the only one drunk out of his mind! Please read and find out! Nice reviews!
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Bleach! Again!

**Drunk Again:**

After a long hard day of work, Hitsugaya was ready to call it a night. Unfortunately, fate had other plans in store for him. As he made his way back towards his office, he got the feeling that he wasn't alone. As a matter of fact, he could hear laughing. And it seemed to be coming from his office.

"For God's sake, what now?" he thought grimly as he moved to open the door.

Once inside, he saw a very unpleasant sight. Hisagi, Kira, Shunsui and Ikkaku drinking large amounts of sake in the middle of the room, all looking rather red in the face. Hisagi was waving a bottle around and the others held up their empty cups, ready for another helping.

"What in God's name are you doing?"

They all turned hearing the bitter voice of the captain of Squad 10. Completely intoxicated, Kira took his harsh tone as an invitation to join in. He grabbed a nearby bottle and thrust it towards him. "Go 'head! Drink up!"

Hitsugaya's eyes narrowed. "You're joking, right?"

"Come on! I happen to know for a fact that you've had this stuff before!"

Ikkaku nodded. "It's all true. I was there. I saw everything."

Hitsugaya's eye twitched. "That was an accident and you know it! Besides, she promised to never do anything like that again."

"Judging from the look on her face when we saw her last, I'd say that there's no chance of her ever drinking sake with you within a mile of her. That's for sure," Shunsui said.

"Yeah, what did you do to her anyway?"

He folded his arms. "That is none of your business. Just know that I got my point across."

Kira's hand was inching closer with the sake bottle, tempting him to drink.

"Get that thing out of my face."

"Come on..! Drink!"

Hitsugaya pushed him away. He teetered from all the sake in his system but recovered and tried again, whining about how much better he would feel after a drink. Again, Hitsugaya pushed him away.

"Why would I drink that stuff anyway? The last time I had it in my system, I blacked out for half a day and had a nice big hangover to care for! I'm not drinking it!"

Hisagi backed up Kira. "He's right, though. You're way too tense. You should really have a drink. It'll help you loosen up."

"Forget it!"

Ikkaku pressed his cup to Hitsugaya's face, trying to force it into his mouth. "Come on! Drink up, little man! Be with the big boys!"

"Get away from me!" He pushed Ikkaku's hand away but he was relentless. He kept trying to force it down his throat, ordering him to open up. "I said get away!"

"Drink! Drink! Drink!"

"Get out of here! This is my office!"

"We know," Shunsui managed before taking another swig. "That's why we're in here. We're taking a helping from Rangiku's secret stash. Good, huh?"

"Good? Maybe for you because you're the ones drinking it, but I, for one, am pissed! I want you all out of here now!"

"Make us!" Kira teased.

"Don't push me."

"No, let's."

Hitsugaya expression changed. What was that supposed to mean? "Huh?"

"I said 'let's', right guys?" Hisagi looked at the others. They nodded back. "So let's."

Hitsugaya backed up. "Wait. What do you mean by that? What's that supposed to mean? Let's what?"

"Let's!" Hisagi and Kira each grabbed one of the little captain's arms and pulled him over to the table. He kicked and fought back, but when Ikkaku came in to help, he didn't stand a chance. They pinned him down on the table and Shunsui handed them a fresh bottle of sake.

"Wait! What are you doing?! Stop it!"

While Kira and Ikkaku held him down flat on his back, Hisagi opened the bottle and moved in.

"I said stop it! That's an order!"

Ignoring his protests, Hisagi shoved the bottle into Hitsugaya's open mouth and tipped the bottom toward the ceiling, forcing him to drink. Helpless, Hitsugaya had no choice but to gulp the horrible stuff down against his will. He chugged the whole bottle.

It was only then that he was allowed to sit up, gasping for air. Hisagi patted his back with a chuckle. "So how do you feel?"

Hitsugaya belched. "Horrible."

Shunsui handed them another bottle. "I think he needs more."

"No, I don't!" Hitsugaya tried to make a break for the door, but was held down and restrained a second time. They forced him to drink the second bottle as well. He kicked and thrashed about, but he had no choice but to drink it. It was either that or choke.

Once that bottle was empty, he was allowed to sit up again. Only this time, he required help from them to do so. He sat up and moaned.

"Better?"

Hitsugaya shot him a death-glare as response. He struggled to stand, but toppled back down onto the table, too off kilter. The sake was already taking effect. He was feeling dizzy.

"So, you want some more? You're looking pretty loose to me already."

Hitsugaya glared at him again and stood up. He grabbed hold of Hisagi's shirt to keep his balance and pointed a finger in his face. "Listen here, you bastard! I look loose to you because I'm tipsy! And if you think I'm gonna…" He trailed off and put his finger to his chin thoughtfully. "Huh… That's a funny word, isn't it?"

"What word?"

"Tipsy." Hitsugaya chuckled as it fell from his lips. "See? It sounds so funny. Tipsy. Tipsy! Tip-sy. Tippy!" He burst into a huge giggle fit.

Hisagi patted his shoulder and handed him another bottle.

This wasn't going to end well.

* * *

Please review so I can continue! ^-^


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

Everyone reacted differently to sake. For example, when Shunsui got a hold of sake, he became very flirtatious, overly friendly and a bit wild. When Kira had just a little too much sake, he would get overconfident and sometimes nasty. Ikkaku had a tendency to challenge anything he saw to a fight, becoming even more of a handful than usual. Hisagi became uncharacteristically talkative and downright weird. He usually knew when to stop before he ever got to that point, but sometimes he just had to cut loose and free himself _from _himself. When he had just a little bit too much sake, his personality changed. How? Well, it tended to shift depending on the day. It was like a toss of the dice; you never knew what you were going to get with him. Sometimes, he would be in a fetal position begging for help or crying or both. Other times, he was everyone's buddy and always wanted to party. It was always something different with that drunk. Now that Hitsugaya had tasted sake, he had a drunken personality, too. He was just downright strange. He would get fascinated by the simplest of things and find humor in just about everything. He would get childish and whine and run around in circles laughing his head off. He would also start to get just a little horny after a while and throw himself onto anyone he found the least bit attractive; at least in his mind anyway.

Now all those drunks were in the same room drinking Rangiku's sake stash dry. This wasn't good.

Shunsui and Hisagi were sitting on the couch having their own drunken conversation. Shunsui poured himself another cup while Hisagi went on and on about something he was too drunk to pay attention to.

"So as I was sayin'," Hisagi slurred his words. "I don't know which one is better… They're both really good in their own ways but I mean really? So you see my point, right?"

"Huh?" Shunsui sloshed a little sake down the front of his kimono. "Oh, sorry, I wasn't listening. You were saying?"

"Never mind. It's not important." Hisagi watched him drink the sake and chuckled.

"What?"

"You…" he pointed a finger in the captain's face. "… are so drunk."

"News flash, so are you."

Hisagi shrugged. "Not really."

"Yes, really." He took another swing. "You should see yourself.

Hisagi leaned back in his seat, sinking deeper into the couch cushions. "I don't see it… I think you are way more drunk than me."

"See? Even your grammar is slipping a little."

"Is not. I can talk anyway I want."

"You think you're all that, don't ya? Well, you're not! You are a weak little girl, that's what you are!"

They turned around to find Ikkaku yelling at himself in a mirror.

"Ikkaku, you realize that's your reflection, right?"

Ikkaku spat at the mirror and flipped it off. "Don't look so cocky, bastard!"

Hisagi turned back around. "Idiot… He doesn't even know what he's doing, he so drunk."

Just then, Kira popped up and sat between Hisagi and Shunsui on the couch. "Yo, whazzup?"

"Hey, what's up, Kira?"

He grabbed an empty cup and thrust it to Shunsui. "Fill 'er up."

The captain pulled the bottle away from him. "I think you've had enough, Kira."

Kira suddenly became very angry. "I'll damn well tell ya when I've had enough, now fill it up!"

"Okie-dokie." Shunsui didn't even hesitate to fill up his glass. "Why should I deny a man his pleasures? We're here to have a good time, right?"

"Yup!" Kira was happy again. "Just us lieutenants and captains… and Ikkaku."

"Wanna fight?!"

Shunsui made himself at home on the couch, sprawling his legs out and leaning back. "Yup, just us manly men having our day before getting back to work."

Kira nodded his head, splashing sake all over his hand with the energy behind the movement. "And how! We all need to loosen up a little bit. Even Captain Hitsugaya." He started to look around. "Speaking of which, where is the little guy?"

Toshiro Hitsugaya came popping up from behind the lieutenant and wrapped his arms around his neck. Kira was pushed onto the floor with the force behind the captain's hug. He giggled loudly in his ear and rocked from side to side. "Howdy!"

The two men on the couch waved at him. "So how do you feel, Toshiro?"

"Great!" He threw his arms up in the air and fell over backwards. "I've never felt better! That didn't even hurt!"

"Glad to hear it." The captain in the hat raised his glass to his fellow drunken captain.

Hitsugaya crawled up onto the table and rested his chin on the tabletop. His cloudy eyes studied the sake bottle in front of him with awe. "Ooh! I could have some of that!" He reached up with a clumsy hand and knocked the bottle over. Luckily it was corked so nothing spilled. He picked it up and tried to pour himself a cup with the cork still on. "It's broken."

The other captain laughed. "No, no. It's just not open yet. Here." He reached out with his hand to open it for him, but the little captain wanted to do it himself.

"I can do it." He took the bottle in both hands, popped the cork off and tipped it over above his cup. He missed, spilling it on the table. The sake spread, taking the cup with it like a leaf being swept up by a river's current. "Whoopsie." He brought his head down and started to slurp up the spilled sake with his lips and tongue. He gave it another try. This time he managed to get a few drops into the cup before spilling it again.

The older captain tried to help him. "Perhaps I can..?"

"No!" he whined, waving his hand to shoo him away. "I'll do it."

Hisagi watched him in silence. When he spilled the sake for a third time, he had to say something. "I think you're a little too drunk, Hitsugaya. You can't even pour yourself another drink."

"I'm fine."

Shunsui pointed to the bottle in Hitsugaya's hand. "Why don't you just drink it out of the bottle?" he suggested.

Hitsugaya looked down at the bottle still closed in his hand. "Oh. Oh! Good idea!" He brought it to his lips and drank straight from the bottle. This saved him so much time and effort.

Kira reached for his own bottle. He was too drunk to lift it off the tabletop, so he dragged it across the table until he reached the end and let it drop off the edge into his lap. With great effort, Kira raised the bottle to his lips and drank deeply. Then he slammed it back down on the table with a belch. "Ya know what I don't get?"

Judging from Kira's slurred words and the opening of his statement, Hisagi could tell that he was about to start one of his drunken rants. He prepared himself for the worst. "Yeah, what?"

Kira swayed. "I don't get why we have captains. I mean, no offense to you guys…" He gestured to the two drunken captains in the room. "But I mean, what about us?"

"Us who?"

He pounded his fist on the table. "The lieutenants, of course! I mean, we do all the real work 'round 'ere! We bring ya guys your papers and your forms and all the other crap you guys need for your whatever! All ya ever do is sign the stuff. I mean, sure, you're strong and all, but wit'out us, y'all would be not'in'! All the runnin' and sortin' and filin' and all that crap! What do we ever get? Not'in'! We get crap!" Kira took another swig to fuel his drunken speech. "If I could, I'd rule over this whole Soul Society… Just you wait and see. I'll have the best crew you ever did see. You cap'ins suck! Just look at mine. Look what he did, the damn snake-man! Screw 'im! He's a zerk!"

Hisagi tried to make sense of that last word. "What'd you say?"

"He's suck a zerk!"

"He's a what?"

"A zerk! A zerk!"

"I think he means 'jerk'," Shunsui offered up, taking another drink.

"Oh. Why didn't he just say so?"

"I did! Are ya deaf?!"

"No, you're just slurring so much, I can't understand you."

"No!" Kira threw himself forward onto the table to point in Hisagi's face. Too drunk to control his momentum, he ended up falling onto the tabletop, knocking over several empty bottles and cups. "No, _you're_ slurrin'!"

"That's it, you're way too drunk. No more sake for you."

"What?! This is an outrage! I'm fine! Tell, 'im, cap'in."

Shunsui looked up from his cup. "Huh? Sorry, I didn't hear any of that."

Kira pointed at Hisagi again, still laying half across the table. "He thinks we're too drunk!"

"We kinda are. I mean, you turn into a real idiot when you drink. Sake clouds your judgment. It turns you into something you're not. I mean, look at him." He pointed to Hitsugaya who was in the middle of another giggle fit, sake bottle still clutched in his hand.

"Well, he's just not used to it. We are. I know when I'm too drunk or not."

"Apparently not…"

"You wanna step outside?"

Hisagi interfered again. "Now, now. One nutjob at a time. Ikkaku already wants to fight. Let's not add fuel to the fire, ok?"

Kira looked at Ikkaku who was still picking a fight with his reflection. "I guess you're right… But at least I'm not that bad."

The group heard a crash and looked down at the floor. Hitsugaya was rolling around like a log, laughing his head off.

"Oh, yeah. He's wasted."

Hitsugaya raised his pink face up at them and laughed out loud. "Dude!"

"What?"

"I see funny things!"

Hisagi was afraid to ask. "Such as?"

"This many!" Hitsugaya held up three fingers.

Kira looked at his friend. "What's he talkin' 'bout?"

"I think he means that he's seeing double."

"Oh, that's what he means."

Hitsugaya sat up taking a good long, hard look at his hands. "Ever notice how when you move your fingers, they curl up in the same direction? They're kind of like those party things that roll up and out when you blow into them. You know what I mean?"

"Not really."

Hitsugaya curled his fingers and stretched them out again over and over as if to prove his point. Actually, he was just fascinated by their movement. He giggled and looked back up at the two staring at him. He pointed at Hisagi's face and shouted, "You have numbers on your face!" He rolled onto his back and fell into a huge giggle fit.

"Yeah, they're tattoos. You already knew that. What's so funny?"

He sat up, calming down. Then he looked at Kira and his giggle fit started all over again. "You have funny bangs! They cover one eye!" He fell back in hysterics again, kicking his legs wildly in the air.

"Man, he is really wasted, isn't he?" Hisagi said. "How many did he have to drink anyway?"

Shunsui took another couple swigs between his answer. "About ten."

"Ten cups? That's not so bad."

The captain laughed, telling him to think again.

Hisagi's eyes widened. "He… He had ten bottles?!"

"Oh, yeah. At least."

"Oh, man…" Hisagi rubbed his head. It was a lot to consider while still intoxicated himself. "When he snaps out of this, he's so going to kill us."

"Yeah… But that's a ways away from now. I prefer to live in the here and now." Shunsui drank deeply from his bottle, drinking it dry.

Suddenly, Hitsugaya threw himself into Hisagi's legs and gave him a big drunken hug. "I love you."

"Yeah, remember that when you sober up, ok?"

There was a knock at the door and all went quiet for a moment. Who could that be? The door slid open and in came a familiar face. It was Yumichika looking for his friend. He walked inside with a clipboard in his arms. He stopped in his tracks when he saw the red-faced people staring back at him. The room stank of alcohol and was filled with empty sake bottles. It didn't take him long to figure out what had happened. He shook his head with a sigh.

"What a surprise… I listen to him and leave him alone. Now what do I find but a room full of drunks, Ikkaku included. Well, what have I learned?"

"Never to listen to what Ikkaku tells you?" Kira asked.

"Bingo. I knew this would happen." Yumichika sighed again when he saw Ikkaku yelling at a plant. "He'll fight with anything, won't he?"

Giggling his head off, Hitsugaya lunched himself into Yumichika's arms. "Yay! Chika-chika's here! Now it's a party!"

Yumichika staggered and looked down at the boy in his arms. He noticed his pink face and the stench of sake on his breath. "Not again… It was weird enough the first time. Really funny, though." He looked around for the person he believed to be responsible. "Where's Rangiku?"

"Not here. We snuck in here to sample a few of her drinks."

Yumichika looked around at the empty bottles and the unopened ones littering the room. "My God, she sure has a lot, doesn't she? But then how did he get drunk?"

Hisagi rubbed the back of his neck. "Well… I suppose that was our doing. Sorry, but at the time we just thought that… We were really drunk!"

"You still are."

"Yeah, but… What we did was-"

"Stupid?"

"Yeah, that's the word."

Hitsugaya hugged Yumichika even tighter. He smiled. "But that doesn't mean that we can't still have a little fun, right?"

Ikkaku staggered over to him. "What'cha talkin' 'bout?"

"I mean, he'll blame you guys for getting him drunk, but he can't blame us for anything he does, right? He probably won't remember any of this anyway, right? So let's have a little bit of fun, ok?"

"You're evil."

Yumichika smiled. "I picked that up after being in Squad 11 for so long."

It was horrible. But all so funny. Yumichika felt very proud of himself for doing this. He knew the danger, but he had it all planned out in his head. Even if he died doing this, he would at least die happy. It was a great idea.

It was a real drunken party now. Hitsugaya and Kira were on the table, dancing like fools. They were singing some drinking song loud and off-key, but they could care less how they looked. They were having a great time. Hitsugaya jumped up and down, wiggled his hips and laughed while Kira kept skipping from corner to corner, still downing those sake bottles. They were so wasted. The others sat on the floor and watched them make fools of themselves. Yumichika sat between Hisagi and Ikkaku with a smile on his face.

_Totally worth it_...

But this party was just getting started.

* * *

Please review! This fic isn't too long.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

For once, Rangiku was actually doing her work. It was very halfheartedly and quick, but at least she was working. She was mostly doing it to please her captain. She was still working off her unofficial dept to him for getting him drunk. She had never seen him so mad before. She had to do everything in her power to get back on his good side.

As she walked down the long hall towards the office, she could hear loud singing. She stopped in her tracks and concentrated on the voices.

"I work for a captain

who isn't very nice!

I run around all day long,

it is such a pain!

And then when I'm finished,

he looks at me and says…

'boy look at this work,

do it all again'!"

It was an Irish drinking song and that sounded a lot like Kira. The song went on, a new voice singing this time.

"Drinking is my passion,

thanks to Rangiku!

Get me a whiskey,

or a little brandy.

Pour me another glass,

I can't get enough!

Then the little one points and says,

'you got numbers on your face'!"

That was Hisagi. Then came the voice of someone she recognized by their rage, but never from their singing. It couldn't be who she thought it was, could it?

"My lieutenant is an ass,

that is for sure!

She rubs her boobs in my face,

squishy-squishy-squish!

She likes to hid sake,

all around the office.

Then when I get 'hold of it,

Oh, my God, it's good!"

"Captain?!" Rangiku dropped her stack of papers to the floor and burst into the office.

The room was littered with sake bottles and discarded captain's jackets and swords. The captain of Squad 8, Ikkaku and Yumichika were sitting on the floor, cheering and laughing at the song. Kira, Hisagi and her own captain were on top of the table in a kick line. Hitsugaya was too short to reach their shoulders so he clung to their ribs instead. Everyone in the room was red in the face except for Yumichika. It didn't take her long to figure out what was going on, but still, she wanted an explanation.

"What is going on in here?!"

Yumichika got up waving his arms defensively. "Uh, it's not what you think."

"I think you've all been in my secret sake stash and got yourselves drunk!"

"Ok, so it is what you think."

"What is going on around here?!"

Hisagi lost his balance and tumbled off the table and onto the couch behind him. The other two slammed onto the table, nearly breaking it in half. Too drunk to feel pain anymore, the three just laughed it off and tried to think of another song to sing. Rangiku got a good look at her captain and couldn't believe it. He was drunk all over again! He was laughing his head off and his face was as pink as fresh cherry blossoms. He never looked happier… or drunker for that matter.

"How in the world did you get him drunk?!"

"I had nothing to do with that," Yumichika, the only sober one in the room, told her. "I merely walked in and found them like this. Hisagi told me that they forced the stuff down his throat to get him to loosen up."

"Loosen him up?!" Rangiku pointed at her intoxicated captain. "This is the last thing he needs! Do you have any idea how much trouble we're going to get in?!"

"Is that what you're so worked up about? 'Cause I thought you'd be all for it. It's not like you to worry so much."

"Of course I'm worried! Do you have any idea what he did to me after the first time?! He nearly killed me! I've never seen him so pissed off before! Why do you think I'm panicking? I never want to go through that again!"

Yumichika frowned. "Aw, but there's a good chance he won't remember any of this anyway, like last time. Provided everyone keeps their mouths shut."

"But he _knows_ that they forced him to drink!"

"True, but that doesn't mean that we'll get into trouble." Yumichika smiled at her. "He'll be mad at the ones who did this to him. Not us! We're off the hook!"

"That's right…" Rangiku started to relax a little bit before realizing something. "But it's _my _sake they poured down his throat! He'll make it into my fault because I had it in the first place! If I didn't have that stash in here, none of this would have happened! Don't you see? He'll make it my fault, too!"

Yumichika shrugged. "Whatever. I just wanted a nice laugh after all the work I did today. The downside is that now I have to be the one to drag Ikkaku back home when this little party of their's is over."

"How can you be so calm about this?!" Rangiku all but screamed. "Just look at my captain! I'm gonna get it when he sobers up!"

Yumichika took a sideward glance down at the captain. "Oh? But don't you find him cute at all?"

"How is any of this cute?! It's horrible!"

"Even that?" Yumichika pointed to Hitsugaya. "Don't you find that the least bit cute?"

Rangiku looked down and saw her captain rolling around like a log giggling like a small child on a sugar rush. He got to his feet and started to spin around in a circle, going faster and faster until succumbing to dizziness and falling down. His head revolved on his shoulders, room spinning around him, but still continued to giggle. He clapped his hands together and started the whole thing over again like a toddler.

She smiled. "Well… I suppose that is rather cute." He really was an adorable drunk. "But this can't go on, you know that! We have to calm him down and make sure that he doesn't hurt himself."

"Since when are you so concerned?"

"Since he nearly killed me for the last time. Now help me."

Yumichika whined. "Do I have to?"

"Yes!"

"But they'll probably pass out any minute. Can't you wait for that? That's what I usually do."

Shunsui clicked his tongue and called Rangiku over. "Hey, any chance you wanna… You know?" He wiggled his brow.

She shuddered. "Ew, no."

"Suit yourself. But you don't know what you're missin'." He drank from his cup again.

Suddenly, Rangiku felt skinny arms wrap around her legs and looked down. Hitsugaya was staring up at her with big puppy eyes and a drunken smile. "Uh, sir?"

Hitsugaya hugged her tightly. "I love you."

"I'm sure you do, but…"

He clawed his way up her body, clinging to her pink scarf for balance. "I mean it. I really do. I love you, Rangiku. You're awesome. You are so good. I mean it, you're good. You are so good. I love you."

_More drunk talk. He never spoke to me like this before when he was sober_. It was rather awkward, to say the least. She tried to pull him off, but he stuck to her like glue. He wouldn't come off! "Captain, please!"

"Rangiku!" Kira jumped out of nowhere and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "What are ya doin' 'ere? Come ta pady?"

"Come to what?"

"He said 'come to party'," Hisagi translated. "Dude's so wasted."

"No kidding."

Suddenly Shunsui's head hit the table and his cup rolled out of his hands and across the table. Hisagi poked him in the head and heard him snore.

"Dude, he's out!"

Ikkaku hiccupped and looked over at Yumichika. "Hey, whaddaya lookin' at?"

"Nothing."

Ikkaku swayed over to his friend and slung an arm around his shoulder. "I tell ya, if I didn't think I could, I would."

"Would what?"

"Mop the floor wit' ya! Ya deaf or what?!" Ikkaku shouted in his face.

Yumichika knew it was best to play along so he did. "Ok, ok, I got ya, Ikkaku. Just sit down over there, ok?"

"Why?"

"Uh… Because…" He thought of a reason that would only make sense to a drunken idiot like Ikkaku. "Because it's been calling you out all day."

"I'll kill 'im!" Ikkaku stormed over to the couch and started to curse at it.

Yumichika shook his head. "Ah… What a fool. I can tell I'm going to have fun with him later on when he's throwing up everywhere. It is not going to be pretty."

There came another crash as Hisagi fell over backwards off the arm of the chair and onto the floor. He had finally passed out, too. He was out before his head hit the floor.

Hitsugaya pointed and laughed. "Number guy went boom!" He jumped up and down, laughing like crazy. "Boom! Boomity-boomity-boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!"

Kira hiccupped and moaned in Rangiku's ear. "I don't feel so good anymore…" He reached blindly for another sake bottle, thinking that it would solve the problem.

Rangiku grabbed his hand. "No more for you, are you crazy?"

"No, you're crazy!" He pointed in her face. "You're all 'no more', 'no more'! And then I'm all 'what? No way'! So you're, like, 'dude, he's so drunk' and I'm all 'yeah, he is' and you know what that's like, right?"

Rangiku looked at Yumichika for clarification.

"Don't look at me. I don't know what he's saying."

"Well, I don't speak drunk. At least, not unless I'm drunk, too."

"Then just leave him alone. It doesn't matter. Whatever he's saying isn't important, anyway."

Kira shot him a look. "Hey, I may be stupid but I'm not drunk!" He paused. "Oh, wait… Reverse that. I meant to say that I'm not as drunk as I am stupid… Wait, that didn't sound right, either… So, what was I saying again?"

"Never mind!"

Kira looked back at Rangiku and smiled at her. "You're so hot."

"Thanks, now sit down."

"Can I have a kiss?" Kira puckered his lips.

She put a hand up to stop his lips from planting themselves on her cheek. "Just go away."

Hitsugaya jumped up and down like a child. "I want a kiss, too! Please?"

With another thud, Ikkaku rolled off the couch and onto the floor, having passed out himself. Yumichika threw his hands up in the air with a breath of relief. "Finally!" He grabbed Ikkaku's ankles and started to drag him out of the room. "Sorry, Rangiku, you're on your own."

"What?! Wait, I can't-!"

"You have to. I've got him to worry about."

"Just leave him on the floor! I can't possibly-!"

Kira tried to kiss her once again, but she pushed him aside. When he tried a third time, he only managed to get within inches of his target before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and ended up collapsing on the floor by her feet. He had finally passed out, too.

Now that just left Hitsugaya. This wasn't going to be easy, seeing as how hyper he was at the moment. She tried to calm him down, but that only excited him more. "Yumichika, please! I can't do this alone!"

"I offer you my best!" he called before dragging Ikkaku out into the hall and closing the door.

_Great. Just great_…

Hitsugaya bounced in place, still clinging to her scarf. He laughed and laughed, unable to stop.

Rangiku grabbed his hands and tried to hold him still. "Captain, please calm down."

"You're hot. We should totally go out."

"You don't mean that. I know you don't. I'm too old for you anyway. Well… maybe not _that_ old…" She gave her hair a flip, giving herself a complement. "But still, you should really-"

Hitsugaya pulled free of her grasp and took off in a run. He started to run around the office, laughing hysterically and jumping up and down. He couldn't keep still. He had to move. He had to touch. He had to run wild. He jumped onto the couch and bounced up and down on it like a little jumping bean. He threw his hands into the air over his head and hollered loudly.

Rangiku rushed over and tried to stop him. "Please, sit down! Come on, before you hurt yourself."

"No way! Never!" He laughed and jumped higher. He waved his hands in the air and bounced. "I love you! I love it so! I love you and you and you and you and…" He slowed to a stop, suddenly not looking so energetic. He wobbled and swayed and grabbed onto her shoulder for support. "Suddenly… I don't feel so good… I feel weird…"

She took his hand in hers and tried to coax him down. "Please sit down on the couch, Captain. You'll feel better."

He shook his head. "I don't wanna. I'm ok. I just feel a little funny. That's all." He turned his whole body towards her and hiccupped. "You look so pretty."

"Thank you, now sit down." She didn't want to hear such things from him anymore. They weren't sincere. Just a lot of drunk talk. In any case, she needed to calm him down.

Now tall enough to be at eyelevel with her, Hitsugaya could look her straight in the face as he spoke. "How come you never looked like this before to me? I never noticed how pretty you were. Have you always been this hot?"

"Just sit down please."

"But why do you look so good to me now? I think I feel something when I look at you now. I never have before… Why haven't I..?" He hiccupped in her face and she could smell the sake on his breath. "So pretty…"

She tried to pull him down so that he could sit, but he buckled his knees and made it impossible. "Please sit down."

Hitsugaya reached out and ran his fingers through her long hair. His drunken gaze caught her pale blue eyes. He moved a little closer, vision no longer as clear. "I feel like… Why do I feel like..?"

"Like what?" she was afraid to ask.

"I feel like… kissing you." He moved closer. "I feel like kissing you all of a sudden. I just feel like I love you so much, I can't help it. I want to kiss you."

"No, you don't." Rangiku shook her head and tried to convince him that all these feelings of his were nothing more than false, sake-influenced drunken feelings of desire. He didn't really mean any of it. "Captain, you're drunk. You're not thinking clearly. You have to calm down before you do something you'll regret."

Smiling dopily, Hitsugaya's face fell forward and planted his lips on the end of his lieutenant's nose. He pulled back still smiling like a drunken fool. He hiccupped and gave a short laugh. "That wasn't so bad, right? But kinda unfair."

"Unfair how?" she asked, rubbing the end of her nose where his lips had touched.

"'Cause I was aiming for your mouth. They look so soft and juicy." He moved closer to her for a second time.

She shook her head. "No way! You're drunk! As cute as you are, this has gone on long enough! I will not let you do whatever you want only to get yelled at later for letting you do so! You've done enough in this state!"

He was still leaning closer to her with his lips puckered. She stuck her hand out to block him. She held him back as he tried to kiss her. "Please? Just one. I won't get mad, I promise."

"Yeah, you say that now. But I'll have to hear about it later from you. Believe me…"

"Just one little kiss is all I ask. Just one…" Hitsugaya's eyes slid out of focus and his pupils dilated further. With a soft moan, his eyes closed and he fell forward into her chest.

Rangiku looked down at the bundle in her bosom and heard him snore. At last, it was over. He had passed out in her arms and his reign of hyperactive drunkenness was over. She laid him down on the couch and covered him up with his discarded captain's jacket to sleep off his intoxication.

She straightened up and looked around the room at the other slumbering drunks. "What a pain… I should have enjoyed this more…"

* * *

The next one is the last so please review! ^-^


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: **

Rangiku managed to gather up as many empty bottles as possible and tossed them out while her captain slept. He hadn't moved for the past three hours. She occasionally checked to see if he was breathing. He was, rather deeply in fact. Satisfied, she went back to cleaning up after their little 'party'. If all went well, he wouldn't remember what had happened and therefore, wouldn't be mad at her for leaving the sake there for them to find in the first place. She could only pray for it to be true.

Once finished, she heard a soft moan come from the couch and turned. Her captain was starting to wake up. Hitsugaya stretched and rubbed his head. He groaned loudly and moaned. He rolled onto his side and buried his face in the couch cushions.

"Ohh..! I don't feel so good..!" His head hurt, he felt nauseous, his whole body ached and the light was blinding him and burning a hole in his skull. This was the second time in his life he ever felt so terrible. But it still took him a while to sort it all out and make sense of it. He hid under his captain's jacket with another loud moan. "Ohh..! I don't remember anything..! What happened?"

"Um…" Rangiku kept her voice as low and soft as possible. "Is there anything you do remember?"

"Ugh…" He rubbed his head. "It's hard to tell what's a dream and what was real…"

"Oh… I see…" She kept her back to him, praying.

He hiccupped and his face turned a sickly green. His head was spinning and he could feel something gurgle and then shoot up like a geyser in his stomach. "Oh..! Oh, God… Get me a bucket, quick!"

Rangiku thrust a trashcan to him at lightning speed. He clutched it in both hands and lowered his face into it and vomited. She grimaced, hearing it echo in the hollow aluminum trashcan. He retched again and moaned pitifully. She felt so sorry for him.

"God, I feel awful… And I don't even know why!" Hitsugaya managed before throwing up again.

Rangiku sat next to him on the couch and rubbed his back while he made a bunch of dry heaves. Her poor, poor captain. "Would you like some water? Or some tea?"

He belched, and tried to hold down the rest of his stomach contents. "Ohh… Water, please…"

She got off the couch slowly so as not to shake the seat too much and further upset his stomach. She poured him a glass of water and handed it to him carefully. He drank it slowly, keeping a hand on the trashcan at all times just in case. He thanked her and hung his head over the trashcan again.

Then a light flickered in his eyes and a scowl stretched across his face. "Now I remember..! Those bastards! They did this to me! They held me down and forced me to drink that vile stuff! I'll kill them! When I get a hold of them, I'm gonna… G- gonna…" His face turned green again and he retched into the bucket.

"With any luck, they'll be in the same boat as you, Captain. I mean, they did drink a lot."

With a pale face, Hitsugaya turned to look up at her. "Tell me… When you found me, what was I doing?"

"Huh?"

"What was I doing? Did you see what I did? Nothing too embarrassing, I hope. I just… I honestly don't remember a thing I did. I just can't recall. Please tell me if I did anything I might regret."

"Well… I sort of showed up in the middle of it all. I can't really say for sure…" That was the truth.

"Tell me what you did see."

She swallowed. "Uh… Well, you were… on the table… singing."

"Singing?!" His head jerked up. "Singing what?"

"Oh, just some song you made up. Kira and Hisagi were singing with you. It wasn't so bad."

Hitsugaya gripped the bucket tightly. "I'm gonna kill them..! They will pay!"

"But, sir, they… They're probably even sicker than you are now. Can't that be their punishment? I mean, they-"

"Are you defending them?" Hitsugaya shot her a look. "After what they did? Are you crazy?!"

"No, I…" Why was she defending them? As long as Hitsugaya's rage was fixed on them, she would be as free as a bird. "I was just thinking of your wellbeing. I mean, in your condition, your not fit to-"

"Who said I was going to do anything to them now?" He struggled to turn himself around to face her. "I, personally, am not going to do anything to them now. I know I'm in no condition to do so. I was just going to have a hand in it, was all."

"Hand in what, sir?" She was both intrigued and nervous.

"It's as you said…" He lowered the bucket and showed her the evil gleam in his eye. "They might be even sicker than I am now. Which means that they'll have to go to one person for help."

It took her a moment, but at last she understood. "You don't mean..?"

"I do," he grinned.

* * *

"Oh, God, it hurts!"

"This remedy is a joke!"

"We're in even more pain than we were before!"

"Are you sure you're doing it right?"

Captain Unohana sat with her back to the wall in a cushioned armchair with her usual smile. If they didn't know better, they'd say that she was enjoying this. Her remedy of dealing with their hangovers consisted of strapping them down to hospital beds and sticking acupuncture needles into their faces. But that was about the kindest thing she had done to them so far! In the beginning of their treatment, she had given them all a potion that induced vomiting to clear out their systems. Once empty, but still queasy, they were forced onto beds under a bunch of bright lights and started to stick leeches on their bodies to suck out the remaining alcohol in their bodies. And now she was sticking needles into their faces!

"I… I'm sorry… but I don't think you're doing it right…" Kira whimpered. He wanted to voice his complaints but at the same time he didn't want Unohana to hear him. She was very scary.

Still smiling, she approached his bed. "Believe me, Kira Izuru… I'm giving you all the treatment you deserve."

Ikkaku wanted to rub his forehead, but couldn't on account of the needles. "Couldn't you just give us some old fashioned medicine? You know, like the kind you gave to Hitsugaya. Why's he get out of this?"

A sudden thought occurred to Hisagi at that moment. He lifted his head just so to look at the female captain. "Wait… Don't tell me that… Did he request you do this to us?"

Her smile deepened. "You're the ones who are trying to kill your livers and such. That's your business…" An evil aura appeared around her form, making her smile look a little less than gentle and sweet. "But don't go around thinking that you should do the same to others. The next time someone is unwilling to have a drink with you, kindly leave them be and not force them."

"So he did talk to you, did he?" Hisagi groaned miserably.

Unohana forced him to lie back down. "Now hold still. I have to stick the next batch in." She pulled out a box filled with even larger needles.

The men gulped.

Kira's face turned pale. "Are… Aren't those porcupine quills?"

"Indeed."

He began to shake.

"Now, now… You mustn't do that." She pulled out a large quill. "These are quite thick and I have to stick them in certain areas. Kindly hold still… Otherwise I might accidently hit a nerve and paralyze you."

Kira gripped his bed tightly, digging his nails into the mattress. Why did he have to be first? Unohana leaned over him with the quill. She was aiming for between his eyes. He shook, unable to stop. And still, she kept smiling.

Hisagi turned to Ikkaku. "Are we all in agreement? Never again, right?"

"Force Hitsugaya to drink or steal Rangiku's sake and drink it in their office in the middle of the day?"

"Both. But the first one the most."

"Oh, yeah. Never again."

Shunsui sighed, forcing a smile. "Good times, huh, guys?"

Kira yelped in pain. "YEOW!"

* * *

THE END!

How'd you like it?

Thanks for reading and please review! ^-^


End file.
